Reality is...

Reality is what we experience when the fantasy fails us. Sometimes we think our fantasies are reality until reality gives us a swift kick in the butt and makes us take note of what is real and what is not real.

Real is we are all prone to self destruction, to lose, to hurt, to die. So how does reality become so obscured? How do we forget ourselves and get lost in the raging sea of real life?

We are resilient when it comes to the lines crossed from one realm to another. We snap back quickly when the fantasy has been interupted. But then we start a new reality because the old one is now lost in that raging sea to never return or be the same again, and if we are lucky we will be able to handle our now reality.

“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can't fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good.” ― Elizabeth Edwards

People tend to cling tight to their version of reality. Why? Because we feel safe there. Nothing can hurt us there. And because we are scared of what really exists for us on the other side of it. Pain, sorrow, anquish of being merely mortal.

Because it is too hard to move past the pain and build anew. We rather believe the lie we have created within us, the one that allows us to be whomever we want to be.

Distorted truth? Most times yes! Are we all vulnerable to our own truths? Yes we are but just as vulnerable to the truth reality has for us as well. Are we ready for it when it happens? Usually not.

Can we be happy with reality once the fantasy has been destroyed? Absolutely. Will it take work and perserverence? You betcha! Will it be worth it in the end? Absolutely!

“Regain your senses, call yourself back, and once again wake up. Now that you realize that only dreams were troubling you, view this 'reality' as you view your dreams.” ― Marcus Aurelius

So, whatever your reality is don't forget about the one that runs parallel to it. The one that strikes in a second and strips you of everything you THOUGHT was real.

The one that never discriminates and forces you to look into the mirror we all avoid with all our mite, ourselves...

Written by: Belinda Taylor 8-16-2013
Random Thoughts

Crazy Love

Did Harlan Ellison say it best when he said “The minute people fall in love they become liars.”? Isn't that when the term "LET THE GAMES BEGIN" become relevant?

Isn't the heart like a beacon in the night prominantly alerting others of it's whereabouts? "COME HERE! SEE ME?"

We inadvertantly throw up guards when we fall in love. The first downfall being "Does he/she really love me or are they lying?" Maybe they do love you but the lies do begin. Lies to keep the person we love from knowing ugly truths about us, our past, and who we once were.

Why do we lie? It's simple, we want to be loved and never judged. Perfect in the eyes of the one who captured our heart, our soul, our being. We forget that they have a past too and are most likely feeling the same as we do.

Lying is essential to maintain the game of love. Where would the enthusiasm be if we didn't play the game? We have to build our persona to be as beautiful as we can. Don't we?

Harlan Ellison also said “We find ourselves in odd places at various times, and for a brief span we link our lives to others and then, our time elapsed, we move apart. Through a haze of pain occasionally, usually through a veil of memory that clings, then passes, sometimes as though we have never touched.”

Isn't it true that we view love through a veil of pain? Ending with memories which in most cases are bitter endings of sorrow? Those memories do after some time become vague and hard to recall to the forefront of our mind. We tend to forget the good and retain the bad memories and in the end it truly is like we never touched at all.

What then? Should we be afraid to fall in love for fear of the lies that accompany it? Is it possible that by waiting for that perfect one we may miss out on some very exciting times in our lives? Well yes, it is possible.

I have been in several relationships and i walked away with a lot of different lessons from each one. I walked away with the knowledge that we should not give everything we are to another because others will not treat us the way we deserve to be treated.

I walked away with the knowledge that no one is perfect so don't let love lie to you and tell you they are. I learned that no matter how a relationship ends i am still a good person and will not live my life as a reflection of that relationship.

No matter what love holds for us we should always remember that the lies cannot corrupt us and take our self worth, or dignity away unless we let it. Don't guard your heart.

Live, love, learn from every aspect of what love has to offer. The good and the bad. Or as in the another spot on quote, “You must never be afraid to go there.” ― Harlan Ellison

Written by: Belinda Taylor 8-16-2013
Random Thoughts

Nowhere

Exactly where is "Nowhere"? If nowhere is nothingness then can we really say we are going nowhere?

Perhaps "Nowhere" is rather a feeling we get when we have become jaded.

You know, that feeling of "Well i have been done wrong so many times i no longer care" feeling. The "I am numb inside because of past experiences" feeling.

Isn't that like saying, "hmm, i give up on the human race. I will never trust another!" You cannot say you will never trust another because fact is we trust people everyday. Maybe not from a relationship standpoint but we still place trust in others every day of our lives.

We trust that the store clerk will give us the correct change back. We trust that the bus will arrive on time. We trust that we will drive down the street safely because we trust the other guy behind the wheel beside us.

We trust in spite of how hardened we think we have become. So, if we can become that hard then maybe there is such a place as "Nowhere".

I have had so many marks placed on my heart that i feel like the scar tissue from them will suffocate it until there is no life left. But then that little thing we call hope pops through just enough to say "nope, not today, here is a spot not marked!"

Maybe i should just step back and say "hey, I'm jaded so don't expect me to care!" Then turn around and indicate that even though i don't care i still wanna be a part of your life.

That is double standards, not jaded. Jaded is what we claim when we don't want to be in a relationship of emotional substance. When we want the benefits without the investment.

Why do we seem to want the one we can't have? Why do those we can't have seem harder to get the more we want them? Why must the one we can't have tease us by hanging onto us by a very thin thread?

Is it the thrill of the chase? Or the thrill of knowing they never have to give in order to get. Who knows but it sure can be confusing.

I guess the moral of this article is to remind you to not give up because hope does reside in all of us and at the very moment that we decide we are going "Nowhere" love will fall into our arms for us to have and to hold as ours forever. I haven't given up or became jaded. Have you?

Written by: Belinda Taylor
August 14, 2013

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